무료 IELTS 라이팅 태스크 1 샘플 | 밴드 7-9 모범 에세이

ESL 학생들을 위해 설계된 무료 IELTS 라이팅 태스크 1 샘플과 밴드 7-9 모범 에세이를 받아보세요. 고득점 에세이 구조, 학술 어휘, 효과적인 작문 기법을 배워 IELTS 태스크 1 밴드 점수를 향상시키고 시험에서 성공을 거두세요.

Global Production Projections 2040-2060

6.5

전체 점수

문법의 범위와 정확성

6.5

어휘 자원

6.5

일관성과 응집성

6.5

과제 응답

6.5

당신은 총 12개의 문장을 작성했습니다.

이 에세이의 정확한 밴드 점수는 6.5입니다.

가장 중요한 3개의 문장이 점수를 0.9 밴드 낮추고 있습니다.

이 3개의 문장만 수정해도 점수가 Band 6.5 → 7.4로 상승할 수 있습니다.

5개의 주요 문제를 모두 해결하면 Band 8+을 노릴 수 있습니다.

#1The given pie charts show some data about projected global production by sector in 2040 and 2060.🎉

#2Overall, services are expected to have highest production in both years. ~0.10'

문법의 범위와 정확성 ~0.2'

어휘 자원 ~0.2'

#3Manufacturing is also important and it is the second largest production. ~0.13'

문법의 범위와 정확성 ~0.3'

어휘 자원 ~0.2'

#4The charts also include data for energy, agriculture, materials and info-com tech. ~0.28'

일관성과 응집성 ~0.3'

문법의 범위와 정확성 ~0.2'

어휘 자원 ~0.3'

과제 응답 ~0.3'

#5In 2040, services are predicted to be 40% which will slightly decrease in 2060 to 39%. ~0.17'

일관성과 응집성 ~0.3'

문법의 범위와 정확성 ~0.2'

어휘 자원 ~0.2'

#6Manufacturing is 31% in 2040 and will increase little in 2060. ~0.25'

일관성과 응집성 ~0.3'

문법의 범위와 정확성 ~0.2'

어휘 자원 ~0.2'

과제 응답 ~0.3'

#7Info-com tech is the third highest in 2040 with 15% but it will increase 2% in 2060. ~0.30'

일관성과 응집성 ~0.3'

문법의 범위와 정확성 ~0.3'

어휘 자원 ~0.3'

과제 응답 ~0.3'

#8Energy is 7% in 2040 but decrease 2% in 2060. ~0.30'

일관성과 응집성 ~0.3'

문법의 범위와 정확성 ~0.3'

어휘 자원 ~0.3'

과제 응답 ~0.3'

#9Agriculture is 4% and will reduce 3% in 2060. ~0.30'

일관성과 응집성 ~0.3'

문법의 범위와 정확성 ~0.3'

어휘 자원 ~0.3'

과제 응답 ~0.3'

#10Materials is the smallest sector with 3% in 2040 but will slightly increase in 2060. ~0.17'

일관성과 응집성 ~0.2'

문법의 범위와 정확성 ~0.1'

어휘 자원 ~0.1'

과제 응답 ~0.3'

#11Generally, services and manufacturing remain stable, while the others will change a little. ~0.20'

일관성과 응집성 ~0.2'

문법의 범위와 정확성 ~0.1'

어휘 자원 ~0.1'

과제 응답 ~0.4'

#12However, some data seems unclear and the charts do not give information about total production or other details. ~0.28'

일관성과 응집성 ~0.3'

문법의 범위와 정확성 ~0.3'

어휘 자원 ~0.2'

과제 응답 ~0.3'

학습 목적의 대략적인 감점 추정 — 공식 IELTS 평가 기준이 아님

+문법의 범위와 정확성 ~2.5'

~0.2

services are expected to have highest production in both years

🖉 Missing article 'the' before 'highest production' makes the phrase ungrammatical; superlative adjectives require 'the'.

😢Grammatical Range & Accuracy - Article usage

services are expected to have the highest production in both years

~0.3

Manufacturing is also important and it is the second largest production.

🖉 Incorrect use of 'production' as a countable noun here; 'production' is uncountable and should be replaced with 'sector' or rephrased.

😢Grammatical Range & Accuracy - Word form and collocation

Manufacturing is also important and it is the second largest sector.

~0.2

The charts also include data for energy, agriculture, materials and info-com tech.

🖉 Missing serial comma before 'and' reduces clarity; also, 'info-com tech' is informal and inconsistent with other sector names.

😢Grammatical Range & Accuracy - Punctuation and lexical choice

The charts also include data for energy, agriculture, materials, and info-com tech.

~0.2

In 2040, services are predicted to be 40% which will slightly decrease in 2060 to 39%.

🖉 Missing comma before the relative clause 'which will slightly decrease...' causes a run-on sentence; also 'be 40%' is awkward, better to say 'account for 40%'.

😢Grammatical Range & Accuracy - Punctuation and sentence structure

In 2040, services are predicted to account for 40%, which will slightly decrease in 2060 to 39%.

~0.2

Manufacturing is 31% in 2040 and will increase little in 2060.

🖉 Incorrect adverb placement and missing article; 'increase little' is ungrammatical, should be 'increase a little' or 'increase slightly'.

😢Grammatical Range & Accuracy - Adverb usage

Manufacturing is 31% in 2040 and will increase a little in 2060.

~0.3

Info-com tech is the third highest in 2040 with 15% but it will increase 2% in 2060.

🖉 Missing comma before 'but' creates a run-on sentence; also 'increase 2%' should be 'increase by 2%'.

😢Grammatical Range & Accuracy - Punctuation and preposition use

Info-com tech is the third highest in 2040 with 15%, but it will increase by 2% in 2060.

~0.3

Energy is 7% in 2040 but decrease 2% in 2060.

🖉 Subject-verb agreement error: 'Energy ... decrease' should be 'decreases'; also missing preposition 'by' before '2%'.

😢Grammatical Range & Accuracy - Subject-verb agreement and preposition use

Energy is 7% in 2040 but decreases by 2% in 2060.

~0.3

Agriculture is 4% and will reduce 3% in 2060.

🖉 Incorrect verb choice and missing preposition: 'reduce' is transitive and needs an object; better to say 'will reduce by 3%' or 'will decrease by 3%'.

😢Grammatical Range & Accuracy - Verb usage and preposition

Agriculture is 4% and will reduce by 3% in 2060.

~0.1

Materials is the smallest sector with 3% in 2040 but will slightly increase in 2060.

🖉 Missing comma before 'but' causes a run-on sentence.

😢Grammatical Range & Accuracy - Punctuation

Materials is the smallest sector with 3% in 2040, but will slightly increase in 2060.

~0.1

Generally, services and manufacturing remain stable, while the others will change a little.

🖉 The phrase 'change a little' is informal and vague; better to use 'change slightly' or 'undergo slight changes'.

😢Grammatical Range & Accuracy - Lexical choice

Generally, services and manufacturing remain stable, while the others will change slightly.

~0.3

However, some data seems unclear and the charts do not give information about total production or other details.

🖉 Incorrect verb agreement: 'data' is plural and should be followed by 'seem' not 'seems'.

😢Grammatical Range & Accuracy - Subject-verb agreement

However, some data seem unclear and the charts do not give information about total production or other details.

+어휘 자원 ~2.5'

~0.2

services are expected to have highest production in both years

🖉 Missing article 'the' before 'highest production' makes the phrase unnatural and grammatically incorrect.

😢Lexical Resource - Collocation issues or unnatural phrasing

services are expected to have the highest production in both years

~0.2

Manufacturing is also important and it is the second largest production.

🖉 'production' is uncountable here and does not collocate well with 'second largest'; 'sector' or 'category' would be more appropriate.

😢Lexical Resource - Collocation issues or unnatural phrasing

Manufacturing is also important and it is the second largest sector.

~0.3

The charts also include data for energy, agriculture, materials and info-com tech.

🖉 The phrase 'info-com tech' is an informal and nonstandard abbreviation; the correct term is 'information and communication technology' or 'ICT'.

😢Lexical Resource - Word form or spelling errors

The charts also include data for energy, agriculture, materials and information and communication technology.

~0.2

In 2040, services are predicted to be 40% which will slightly decrease in 2060 to 39%.

🖉 The phrase 'services are predicted to be 40%' is awkward; better collocations would be 'account for 40%' or 'make up 40%'.

😢Lexical Resource - Collocation issues or unnatural phrasing

In 2040, services are predicted to account for 40%, which will slightly decrease to 39% in 2060.

~0.2

Manufacturing is 31% in 2040 and will increase little in 2060.

🖉 The phrase 'increase little' is unidiomatic; 'increase slightly' or 'increase a little' is correct.

😢Lexical Resource - Collocation issues or unnatural phrasing

Manufacturing is 31% in 2040 and will increase slightly in 2060.

~0.3

Info-com tech is the third highest in 2040 with 15% but it will increase 2% in 2060.

🖉 Again, 'info-com tech' is informal; also, 'increase 2%' is awkward without 'by' before the number.

😢Lexical Resource - Word form or spelling errors; Collocation issues

Information and communication technology is the third highest in 2040 with 15%, but it will increase by 2% in 2060.

~0.3

Energy is 7% in 2040 but decrease 2% in 2060.

🖉 Missing subject agreement: 'decrease' should be 'will decrease'; also missing 'by' before '2%'.

😢Lexical Resource - Word form or spelling errors

Energy is 7% in 2040 but will decrease by 2% in 2060.

~0.3

Agriculture is 4% and will reduce 3% in 2060.

🖉 'reduce' is not correctly used here; 'reduce' is usually transitive. The correct verb is 'decrease' or 'decline'. Also missing 'by' before '3%'.

😢Lexical Resource - Word form or spelling errors; Collocation issues

Agriculture is 4% and will decrease by 3% in 2060.

~0.1

Materials is the smallest sector with 3% in 2040 but will slightly increase in 2060.

🖉 Missing article 'the' before 'materials' since it is a sector name; also 'slightly increase' is acceptable but could be more precise with 'increase slightly'.

😢Lexical Resource - Collocation issues or unnatural phrasing

Materials is the smallest sector with 3% in 2040 but will increase slightly in 2060.

~0.1

Generally, services and manufacturing remain stable, while the others will change a little.

🖉 'change a little' is informal and imprecise; better to use 'change slightly' or 'undergo minor changes'.

😢Lexical Resource - Collocation issues or unnatural phrasing

Generally, services and manufacturing remain stable, while the others will change slightly.

~0.2

However, some data seems unclear and the charts do not give information about total production or other details.

🖉 'some data seems unclear' is vague and awkward; 'some of the data are unclear' or 'some data appear unclear' is better. Also, 'do not give information about total production' is slightly imprecise; 'do not provide information on total production' is more formal.

😢Lexical Resource - Collocation issues or unnatural phrasing

However, some of the data appear unclear, and the charts do not provide information on total production or other details.

+일관성과 응집성 ~2.5'

~0.3

The charts also include data for energy, agriculture, materials and info-com tech.

🖉 The sentence lists sectors without clear grouping or logical sequencing, making the presentation feel like a list rather than a coherent introduction to the data categories.