무료 IELTS 라이팅 태스크 1 샘플 | 밴드 7-9 모범 에세이

ESL 학생들을 위해 설계된 무료 IELTS 라이팅 태스크 1 샘플과 밴드 7-9 모범 에세이를 받아보세요. 고득점 에세이 구조, 학술 어휘, 효과적인 작문 기법을 배워 IELTS 태스크 1 밴드 점수를 향상시키고 시험에서 성공을 거두세요.

Global Production by Sector (2040-2060)

당신은 총 12개의 문장을 작성했습니다.

이 에세이의 정확한 밴드 점수는 6.8입니다.

가장 중요한 3개의 문장이 점수를 0.8 밴드 낮추고 있습니다.

이 3개의 문장만 수정해도 점수가 Band 6.8 → 7.6로 상승할 수 있습니다.

5개의 주요 문제를 모두 해결하면 Band 8+을 노릴 수 있습니다.

(모든 에세이 체크를 해제하면 더 빠르게 점수를 올릴 수 있어요! 🔥🚀)

무료로 3회 에세이 검사해보기 ➤

The given pie charts show some data about projected global production by sector in 2040 and 2060.

Overall, services are expected to have highest production in both years. (~0.25)Manufacturing is also important and it is the second largest production. (~0.22)The charts also include data for energy, agriculture, materials and info-com tech. (~0.25)

In 2040, services are predicted to be 40% which will slightly decrease in 2060 to 39%.Manufacturing is 31% in 2040 and will increase little in 2060. (~0.2)Info-com tech is the third highest in 2040 with 15% but it will increase 2% in 2060. (~0.25)Energy is 7% in 2040 but decrease 2% in 2060.Agriculture is 4% and will reduce 3% in 2060.Materials is the smallest sector with 3% in 2040 but will slightly increase in 2060.

Generally, services and manufacturing remain stable, while the others will change a little.However, some data seems unclear and the charts do not give information about total production or other details.

전체 점수

문법의 범위와 정확성

6.5

어휘 자원

일관성과 응집성

7.5

과제 응답

라이팅 밴드를 1.0–1.5 더 빠르게 올리세요!

다른 앱에는 없는 도구로

문장 수준 점수 분석

점수를 깎아 먹는 3–5개의 약한 문장을 정확히 찾아냅니다. 수정하면 전체 밴드가 1.0+ 상승합니다.

감점 요인 분석 패널

TR / CC / LR / GRA 점수와 각 감점 요인을 정확히 확인하여 IELTS 시험관이 원하는 것을 마침내 알게 됩니다.

밴드 9 다시 쓰기 및 연습 문제

자신의 아이디어를 밴드 9 수준으로 다시 작성하여 최고 득점자들이 같은 내용을 어떻게 표현하는지 정확히 확인하세요.

밴드 7 다시 쓰기 및 연습 문제

20개 이상의 목표 연습 문제를 통해 상위 5가지 개인적인 약점을 마스터하세요. 이 강력한 조합은 대부분의 학습자가 1.0–1.5+ 밴드를 빠르게 올리는 데 도움이 됩니다.

사람 피드백 커뮤니티

실제 학생들. 실제 교정. 지지적인 커뮤니티 내에서 연습하여 동기를 부여하고 책임감을 유지하세요.

구매 & 절약

대량 구매를 친구들과 공유하고 모두 추가 혜택을 받으세요!🎉 🚀 대량 구매 할인으로 엄청난 절약! 💰 🎉💡 스마트 쇼핑 알림: 더 많이 구매할수록 더 많이 절약하세요! 더 큰 할인을 위해 더 많은 수량을 선택하세요! 🛒✨

무료로 3회 에세이 검사해보기 ➤

학습 목적의 대략적인 감점 추정 — 공식 IELTS 평가 기준이 아님

+문법의 범위와 정확성 ~2.5'

~0.4

services are expected to have highest production in both years

🖉 Missing article 'the' before 'highest production' makes the phrase ungrammatical and less precise.

😢Grammatical Range & Accuracy - Article usage

services are expected to have the highest production in both years

~0.3

Manufacturing is also important and it is the second largest production.

🖉 The phrase 'second largest production' is awkward; 'production' is uncountable here and should be replaced with 'sector' or rephrased for clarity.

😢Grammatical Range & Accuracy - Word choice and collocation

Manufacturing is also important and is the second largest sector.

~0.3

In 2040, services are predicted to be 40% which will slightly decrease in 2060 to 39%.

🖉 Missing comma before 'which' causes a run-on sentence and reduces clarity.

😢Grammatical Range & Accuracy - Punctuation (comma usage)

In 2040, services are predicted to be 40%, which will slightly decrease in 2060 to 39%.

~0.3

Manufacturing is 31% in 2040 and will increase little in 2060.

🖉 Incorrect adverbial phrase 'increase little'; should be 'increase a little' or 'increase slightly' for grammatical correctness.

😢Grammatical Range & Accuracy - Adverb usage

Manufacturing is 31% in 2040 and will increase a little in 2060.

~0.3

Info-com tech is the third highest in 2040 with 15% but it will increase 2% in 2060.

🖉 Missing preposition 'by' before '2%' to indicate the amount of increase.

😢Grammatical Range & Accuracy - Preposition usage

Info-com tech is the third highest in 2040 with 15%, but it will increase by 2% in 2060.

~0.3

Energy is 7% in 2040 but decrease 2% in 2060.

🖉 Subject-verb agreement error: 'Energy' is singular, so verb should be 'decreases'; also missing preposition 'by' before '2%'.

😢Grammatical Range & Accuracy - Subject-verb agreement and preposition usage

Energy is 7% in 2040 but decreases by 2% in 2060.

~0.3

Agriculture is 4% and will reduce 3% in 2060.

🖉 Verb 'reduce' is incorrectly used; 'reduce' is usually transitive. The correct form is 'will be reduced by' or 'will decrease by'. Also missing preposition 'by'.

😢Grammatical Range & Accuracy - Verb form and preposition usage

Agriculture is 4% and will decrease by 3% in 2060.

~0.3

Materials is the smallest sector with 3% in 2040 but will slightly increase in 2060.

🖉 Missing comma before 'but' causes a run-on sentence.

😢Grammatical Range & Accuracy - Punctuation (comma usage)

Materials is the smallest sector with 3% in 2040, but will slightly increase in 2060.

+어휘 자원 ~2'

~0.2

services are expected to have highest production in both years

🖉 Missing article 'the' before 'highest production' makes the phrase unnatural and grammatically incorrect.

😢Lexical Resource - Collocation issues or unnatural phrasing

services are expected to have the highest production in both years

~0.2

Manufacturing is also important and it is the second largest production.

🖉 'production' is a mass noun here and not usually quantified as 'second largest production'; better to say 'second largest sector' or 'second largest contributor'.

😢Lexical Resource - Collocation issues or unnatural phrasing

Manufacturing is also important and it is the second largest sector.

~0.3

The charts also include data for energy, agriculture, materials and info-com tech.

🖉 The phrase 'info-com tech' is an awkward and non-standard abbreviation; the correct term is 'info-communication technology' or 'information and communication technology'.

😢Lexical Resource - Collocation issues or unnatural phrasing

The charts also include data for energy, agriculture, materials and information and communication technology.

~0.1

services are predicted to be 40% which will slightly decrease in 2060 to 39%

🖉 Missing comma before 'which' causes a run-on and affects clarity; also 'be 40%' is awkward, better to say 'account for 40%'.

😢Lexical Resource - Collocation issues or unnatural phrasing

services are predicted to account for 40%, which will slightly decrease in 2060 to 39%

~0.2

Manufacturing is 31% in 2040 and will increase little in 2060.

🖉 'increase little' is unnatural phrasing; more natural would be 'increase slightly' or 'increase a little'.

😢Lexical Resource - Collocation issues or unnatural phrasing

Manufacturing is 31% in 2040 and will increase slightly in 2060.

~0.3

Info-com tech is the third highest in 2040 with 15% but it will increase 2% in 2060.

🖉 Repetition of 'Info-com tech' with same awkward term; also 'increase 2%' lacks preposition 'by'.

😢Lexical Resource - Collocation issues and repetition

Information and communication technology is the third highest in 2040 with 15%, but it will increase by 2% in 2060.

~0.2

Energy is 7% in 2040 but decrease 2% in 2060.

🖉 Missing 'will' before 'decrease' and missing preposition 'by' before '2%'; also inconsistent verb tense.

😢Lexical Resource - Word form and collocation

Energy is 7% in 2040 but will decrease by 2% in 2060.

~0.2

Agriculture is 4% and will reduce 3% in 2060.

🖉 'reduce' is transitive verb and requires an object; better to say 'will reduce by 3%' or 'will decrease by 3%'.

😢Lexical Resource - Word form and collocation

Agriculture is 4% and will reduce by 3% in 2060.

~0.1

Materials is the smallest sector with 3% in 2040 but will slightly increase in 2060.

🖉 Missing article 'the' before 'Materials' (a sector name) and awkward phrasing 'slightly increase' without specifying what it increases to.

😢Lexical Resource - Collocation issues

Materials is the smallest sector with 3% in 2040 but will slightly increase to X% in 2060.

~0.1

Generally, services and manufacturing remain stable, while the others will change a little.

🖉 Repetition of 'a little' and 'remain stable' is somewhat vague; more precise vocabulary could be used.

😢Lexical Resource - Repetition of words or lack of lexical variation

Generally, services and manufacturing remain stable, while the others will experience slight changes.

~0.1

However, some data seems unclear and the charts do not give information about total production or other details.

🖉 The phrase 'some data seems unclear' is imprecise and awkward; 'some data are unclear' or 'some data points are unclear' would be better.

😢Lexical Resource - Word form and collocation

However, some data are unclear and the charts do not provide information about total production or other details.

+일관성과 응집성 ~1.5'

~0.2

Overall, services are expected to have highest production in both years.

🖉 Missing article 'the' before 'highest production' makes the sentence less clear and less formal, affecting clarity of referencing.

😢Coherence & Cohesion - Unclear referencing or vague pronouns

Overall, services are expected to have the highest production in both years.

~0.2

Manufacturing is also important and it is the second largest production.

🖉 The phrase 'second largest production' is awkward and unclear; 'second largest sector' or 'second highest production' would be clearer. Also, the sentence lacks a linking word to improve cohesion.

😢Coherence & Cohesion - Weak transitions and unclear referencing

Manufacturing is also important, as it is the second largest sector in terms of production.

~0.2

The charts also include data for energy, agriculture, materials and info-com tech.

🖉 The phrase 'info-com tech' is informal and inconsistent with the rest of the essay; also, the list lacks a final comma before 'and' (Oxford comma) which slightly affects clarity.

😢Coherence & Cohesion - Inconsistent terminology and minor cohesion device omission

The charts also include data for energy, agriculture, materials, and information and communication technology.

~0.1

In 2040, services are predicted to be 40% which will slightly decrease in 2060 to 39%.

🖉 Missing comma before 'which' creates a run-on sentence and affects the clarity of the idea connection.

😢Coherence & Cohesion - Weak or missing transitions between clauses

In 2040, services are predicted to be 40%, which will slightly decrease in 2060 to 39%.

~0.1

Manufacturing is 31% in 2040 and will increase little in 2060.

🖉 The phrase 'will increase little' is awkward and unclear; it should be 'will increase slightly' for better clarity and cohesion.

😢Coherence & Cohesion - Awkward sequence of ideas and unclear expression

Manufacturing is 31% in 2040 and will increase slightly in 2060.

~0.1

Info-com tech is the third highest in 2040 with 15% but it will increase 2% in 2060.

🖉 Missing comma before 'but' weakens the connection between the two clauses; also, 'increase 2%' is unclear without 'by'.

😢Coherence & Cohesion - Weak transitions and unclear referencing

Information and communication technology is the third highest in 2040 with 15%, but it will increase by 2% in 2060.

~0.1

Energy is 7% in 2040 but decrease 2% in 2060.

🖉 Missing 'will' before 'decrease' and missing comma before 'but' cause grammatical and cohesion issues.

😢Coherence & Cohesion - Weak transitions and unclear referencing

Energy is 7% in 2040, but will decrease by 2% in 2060.

~0.1

Agriculture is 4% and will reduce 3% in 2060.

🖉 'Reduce' is incorrectly used; 'decrease by' is more appropriate for quantities. Also, missing comma before 'and' affects flow.

😢Coherence & Cohesion - Awkward expression and weak transitions

Agriculture is 4%, and will decrease by 3% in 2060.

~0.1

Materials is the smallest sector with 3% in 2040 but will slightly increase in 2060.

🖉 Missing comma before 'but' weakens the connection between clauses.

😢Coherence & Cohesion - Weak transitions

Materials is the smallest sector with 3% in 2040, but will slightly increase in 2060.

~0.1

Generally, services and manufacturing remain stable, while the others will change a little.

🖉 The phrase 'change a little' is vague and informal; more precise language would improve clarity and cohesion.

😢Coherence & Cohesion - Vague referencing and informal expression

Generally, services and manufacturing remain stable, while the other sectors will experience slight changes.

~0.2

However, some data seems unclear and the charts do not give information about total production or other details.

🖉 The sentence introduces a new idea abruptly without clear connection to previous content; 'However' is used but the logical link is weak. Also, 'some data seems unclear' is vague.

😢Coherence & Cohesion - Weak or missing transitions and vague referencing

However, it is important to note that some data appear unclear, as the charts do not provide information about total production or additional details.

+과제 응답 ~3'

~0.2

Overall, services are expected to have highest production in both years.

🖉 Missing article 'the' before 'highest production' leads to inaccurate reporting of information.

😢Reporting information accurately

Overall, services are expected to have the highest production in both years.

~0.2

Manufacturing is also important and it is the second largest production.

🖉 Phrase 'second largest production' is awkward and imprecise; should specify 'sector' or 'share' for clarity.

😢Reporting information accurately

Manufacturing is also important and is the second largest sector.

~0.3

The charts also include data for energy, agriculture, materials and info-com tech.

🖉 Listing sectors without indicating their relative sizes or trends misses key feature comparison and detail.

😢Selecting and highlighting key features

The charts also include data for energy, agriculture, materials, and info-com tech, which have smaller but varying shares.

~0.2

In 2040, services are predicted to be 40% which will slightly decrease in 2060 to 39%.

🖉 Missing comma before 'which' causes a run-on sentence; also 'slightly decrease' is vague and lacks precise comparison.

😢Reporting information accurately and providing sufficient detail

In 2040, services are predicted to be 40%, which will slightly decrease to 39% in 2060.

~0.2

Manufacturing is 31% in 2040 and will increase little in 2060.

🖉 'Increase little' is ungrammatical and vague; lacks precise quantification of change.

😢Reporting information accurately and providing sufficient detail

Manufacturing is 31% in 2040 and will increase slightly to 32% in 2060.

~0.2

Info-com tech is the third highest in 2040 with 15% but it will increase 2% in 2060.

🖉 Missing preposition 'by' before '2%' and lack of clarity whether increase is absolute or relative; also 'third highest' should be 'third largest sector'.

😢Reporting information accurately and providing sufficient detail

Info-com tech is the third largest sector in 2040 with 15%, and it will increase by 2% in 2060.

~0.2

Energy is 7% in 2040 but decrease 2% in 2060.

🖉 Verb agreement error: 'decrease' should be 'decreases'; also missing preposition 'by' before '2%'.

😢Reporting information accurately

Energy is 7% in 2040 but decreases by 2% in 2060.

~0.2

Agriculture is 4% and will reduce 3% in 2060.

🖉 Missing preposition 'by' before '3%'; 'reduce' should be 'reduce by' or 'decrease by'.

😢Reporting information accurately

Agriculture is 4% in 2040 and will reduce by 3% in 2060.

~0.2

Materials is the smallest sector with 3% in 2040 but will slightly increase in 2060.

🖉 Lacks precise figure for increase; vague 'slightly increase' is insufficient detail.

😢Providing sufficient detail

Materials is the smallest sector with 3% in 2040 but will slightly increase to 4% in 2060.

~0.3

Generally, services and manufacturing remain stable, while the others will change a little.

🖉 Oversimplifies trends; some sectors decrease notably (e.g., agriculture reduces by 3%), so 'remain stable' is inaccurate for manufacturing which increases slightly, and 'change a little' is vague.

😢Comparing and contrasting information adequately

Generally, services remain relatively stable, manufacturing shows a slight increase, while other sectors experience small but notable changes.

~0.3

However, some data seems unclear and the charts do not give information about total production or other details.

🖉 This statement is irrelevant and speculative; task requires reporting given data, not commenting on missing information.

😢Appropriate format and relevance

Omit this sentence to maintain focus on describing the data presented.

~0.2

The given pie charts show some data about projected global production by sector in 2040 and 2060.

🖉 The phrase 'some data' is vague and underdeveloped; does not clearly introduce key features or scope of the charts.

😢Selecting and highlighting key features

The given pie charts show the projected global production by sector in 2040 and 2060.

~0.2

The charts also include data for energy, agriculture, materials and info-com tech.

🖉 Use of 'info-com tech' is informal and inconsistent; should use full term 'information and communication technology' or standard abbreviation.

😢Reporting information accurately

The charts also include data for energy, agriculture, materials, and information and communication technology.

~0.1

Info-com tech is the third highest in 2040 with 15% but it will increase 2% in 2060.

🖉 Inconsistent naming of sector; 'Info-com tech' should be consistent and formal throughout.

😢Reporting information accurately

Information and communication technology is the third largest sector in 2040 with 15%, and it will increase by 2% in 2060.

무료 IELTS 라이팅 태스크 1 샘플 페이지에 오신 것을 환영합니다! 여기에서 실제 IELTS 태스크 1 문제에 대한 밴드 7-9 모범 답안을 다양하게 탐색할 수 있습니다. 각 예제는 데이터, 트렌드, 프로세스를 명확하고 정확하게 설명하는 방법을 이해하는 데 도움이 되도록 신중하게 작성되었습니다.

우리의 컬렉션은 그래프, 차트, 표, 다이어그램, 지도를 포함한 모든 태스크 1 유형을 다루므로 모든 질문 형식에 대응하는 연습을 할 수 있습니다. 각 샘플에는 상세한 설명이 포함되어 있어 높은 점수를 받는 이유와 과제 달성, 일관성, 문법에서 흔히 하는 실수를 피하는 방법을 강조합니다.

이러한 모범 에세이는 IELTS 시험을 준비하는 ESL 학생들에게 완벽합니다. 이러한 샘플을 학습함으로써 고밴드 어휘, 유용한 문구, 작문 성능을 향상시킬 수 있는 효과적인 문장 구조를 배울 수 있습니다.

모든 에세이는 무료로 읽고 다운로드할 수 있어 학습 계획에 쉽게 추가할 수 있습니다. 오늘부터 연습을 시작하고 자신감 있게 IELTS 라이팅 태스크 2 점수를 높이세요!

무료로 3회 에세이 검사해보기 ➤