按分数段划分的范文
Education - Band 5.5
Original: The education is very important for children. They go to school to learn many things and get good job in future.
Rewritten: A solid education is foundational for a child's development, equipping them with essential knowledge and skills crucial for their future career prospects.
Environment - Band 6.5
Original: Pollution is a big problem in my city. The government should do something to stop factories from throwing waste into rivers.
Rewritten: Urban pollution has become a critical issue in my city. It is imperative that the government implements stricter regulations to prevent industrial facilities from discharging hazardous waste into our waterways.
Technology - Band 7.5
Original: Nowadays, many people use smartphones for everything. This has good and bad effects on our society.
Rewritten: The ubiquitous use of smartphones in contemporary society has brought about both considerable advantages and significant drawbacks, fundamentally altering social interactions and daily routines.
并排比较
之前 (6.0分)
The education is very important for children. They go to school to learn many things and get good job in future.
之后 (9.0分)
A solid education is foundational for a child's development, equipping them with essential knowledge and skills crucial for their future career prospects.
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