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Global Production by Sector (2040-2060)
你一共写了 12 个句子。
这篇作文的精准分数是 6.8。
最关键的 3 个句子让你的分数降低了 0.8 分。
只需修复这 3 个句子，你的作文就能从 6.8 分提升到 7.6。
修复所有 5 个主要问题，有望达到 8+ 分。
The given pie charts show some data about projected global production by sector in 2040 and 2060.
Overall, services are expected to have highest production in both years. (~0.25)Manufacturing is also important and it is the second largest production. (~0.22)The charts also include data for energy, agriculture, materials and info-com tech. (~0.25)
In 2040, services are predicted to be 40% which will slightly decrease in 2060 to 39%.Manufacturing is 31% in 2040 and will increase little in 2060. (~0.2)Info-com tech is the third highest in 2040 with 15% but it will increase 2% in 2060. (~0.25)Energy is 7% in 2040 but decrease 2% in 2060.Agriculture is 4% and will reduce 3% in 2060.Materials is the smallest sector with 3% in 2040 but will slightly increase in 2060.
Generally, services and manufacturing remain stable, while the others will change a little.However, some data seems unclear and the charts do not give information about total production or other details.
Overall, services are expected to have highest production in both years. (~0.25)Manufacturing is also important and it is the second largest production. (~0.22)The charts also include data for energy, agriculture, materials and info-com tech. (~0.25)
In 2040, services are predicted to be 40% which will slightly decrease in 2060 to 39%.Manufacturing is 31% in 2040 and will increase little in 2060. (~0.2)Info-com tech is the third highest in 2040 with 15% but it will increase 2% in 2060. (~0.25)Energy is 7% in 2040 but decrease 2% in 2060.Agriculture is 4% and will reduce 3% in 2060.Materials is the smallest sector with 3% in 2040 but will slightly increase in 2060.
Generally, services and manufacturing remain stable, while the others will change a little.However, some data seems unclear and the charts do not give information about total production or other details.
7
汇总分数
语法和句子结构
6.5
词汇丰富程度
7
连贯和衔接程度
7.5
写作任务回应情况
6
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大致扣分点（仅用作学习改进-非雅思官方评价标准）
+语法和句子结构 ~2.5'
~0.4
services are expected to have highest production in both years
🖉 Missing article 'the' before 'highest production' makes the phrase ungrammatical and less precise.
😢Grammatical Range & Accuracy - Article usage
services are expected to have the highest production in both years
~0.3
Manufacturing is also important and it is the second largest production.
🖉 The phrase 'second largest production' is awkward; 'production' is uncountable here and should be replaced with 'sector' or rephrased for clarity.
😢Grammatical Range & Accuracy - Word choice and collocation
Manufacturing is also important and is the second largest sector.
~0.3
In 2040, services are predicted to be 40% which will slightly decrease in 2060 to 39%.
🖉 Missing comma before 'which' causes a run-on sentence and reduces clarity.
😢Grammatical Range & Accuracy - Punctuation (comma usage)
In 2040, services are predicted to be 40%, which will slightly decrease in 2060 to 39%.
~0.3
Manufacturing is 31% in 2040 and will increase little in 2060.
🖉 Incorrect adverbial phrase 'increase little'; should be 'increase a little' or 'increase slightly' for grammatical correctness.
😢Grammatical Range & Accuracy - Adverb usage
Manufacturing is 31% in 2040 and will increase a little in 2060.
~0.3
Info-com tech is the third highest in 2040 with 15% but it will increase 2% in 2060.
🖉 Missing preposition 'by' before '2%' to indicate the amount of increase.
😢Grammatical Range & Accuracy - Preposition usage
Info-com tech is the third highest in 2040 with 15%, but it will increase by 2% in 2060.
~0.3
Energy is 7% in 2040 but decrease 2% in 2060.
🖉 Subject-verb agreement error: 'Energy' is singular, so verb should be 'decreases'; also missing preposition 'by' before '2%'.
😢Grammatical Range & Accuracy - Subject-verb agreement and preposition usage
Energy is 7% in 2040 but decreases by 2% in 2060.
~0.3
Agriculture is 4% and will reduce 3% in 2060.
🖉 Verb 'reduce' is incorrectly used; 'reduce' is usually transitive. The correct form is 'will be reduced by' or 'will decrease by'. Also missing preposition 'by'.
😢Grammatical Range & Accuracy - Verb form and preposition usage
Agriculture is 4% and will decrease by 3% in 2060.
~0.3
Materials is the smallest sector with 3% in 2040 but will slightly increase in 2060.
🖉 Missing comma before 'but' causes a run-on sentence.
😢Grammatical Range & Accuracy - Punctuation (comma usage)
Materials is the smallest sector with 3% in 2040, but will slightly increase in 2060.
+词汇丰富程度 ~2'
~0.2
services are expected to have highest production in both years
🖉 Missing article 'the' before 'highest production' makes the phrase unnatural and grammatically incorrect.
😢Lexical Resource - Collocation issues or unnatural phrasing
services are expected to have the highest production in both years
~0.2
Manufacturing is also important and it is the second largest production.
🖉 'production' is a mass noun here and not usually quantified as 'second largest production'; better to say 'second largest sector' or 'second largest contributor'.
😢Lexical Resource - Collocation issues or unnatural phrasing
Manufacturing is also important and it is the second largest sector.
~0.3
The charts also include data for energy, agriculture, materials and info-com tech.
🖉 The phrase 'info-com tech' is an awkward and non-standard abbreviation; the correct term is 'info-communication technology' or 'information and communication technology'.
😢Lexical Resource - Collocation issues or unnatural phrasing
The charts also include data for energy, agriculture, materials and information and communication technology.
~0.1
services are predicted to be 40% which will slightly decrease in 2060 to 39%
🖉 Missing comma before 'which' causes a run-on and affects clarity; also 'be 40%' is awkward, better to say 'account for 40%'.
😢Lexical Resource - Collocation issues or unnatural phrasing
services are predicted to account for 40%, which will slightly decrease in 2060 to 39%
~0.2
Manufacturing is 31% in 2040 and will increase little in 2060.
🖉 'increase little' is unnatural phrasing; more natural would be 'increase slightly' or 'increase a little'.
😢Lexical Resource - Collocation issues or unnatural phrasing
Manufacturing is 31% in 2040 and will increase slightly in 2060.
~0.3
Info-com tech is the third highest in 2040 with 15% but it will increase 2% in 2060.
🖉 Repetition of 'Info-com tech' with same awkward term; also 'increase 2%' lacks preposition 'by'.
😢Lexical Resource - Collocation issues and repetition
Information and communication technology is the third highest in 2040 with 15%, but it will increase by 2% in 2060.
~0.2
Energy is 7% in 2040 but decrease 2% in 2060.
🖉 Missing 'will' before 'decrease' and missing preposition 'by' before '2%'; also inconsistent verb tense.
😢Lexical Resource - Word form and collocation
Energy is 7% in 2040 but will decrease by 2% in 2060.
~0.2
Agriculture is 4% and will reduce 3% in 2060.
🖉 'reduce' is transitive verb and requires an object; better to say 'will reduce by 3%' or 'will decrease by 3%'.
😢Lexical Resource - Word form and collocation
Agriculture is 4% and will reduce by 3% in 2060.
~0.1
Materials is the smallest sector with 3% in 2040 but will slightly increase in 2060.
🖉 Missing article 'the' before 'Materials' (a sector name) and awkward phrasing 'slightly increase' without specifying what it increases to.
😢Lexical Resource - Collocation issues
Materials is the smallest sector with 3% in 2040 but will slightly increase to X% in 2060.
~0.1
Generally, services and manufacturing remain stable, while the others will change a little.
🖉 Repetition of 'a little' and 'remain stable' is somewhat vague; more precise vocabulary could be used.
😢Lexical Resource - Repetition of words or lack of lexical variation
Generally, services and manufacturing remain stable, while the others will experience slight changes.
~0.1
However, some data seems unclear and the charts do not give information about total production or other details.
🖉 The phrase 'some data seems unclear' is imprecise and awkward; 'some data are unclear' or 'some data points are unclear' would be better.
😢Lexical Resource - Word form and collocation
However, some data are unclear and the charts do not provide information about total production or other details.
+连贯和衔接程度 ~1.5'
~0.2
Overall, services are expected to have highest production in both years.
🖉 Missing article 'the' before 'highest production' makes the sentence less clear and less formal, affecting clarity of referencing.
😢Coherence & Cohesion - Unclear referencing or vague pronouns
Overall, services are expected to have the highest production in both years.
~0.2
Manufacturing is also important and it is the second largest production.
🖉 The phrase 'second largest production' is awkward and unclear; 'second largest sector' or 'second highest production' would be clearer. Also, the sentence lacks a linking word to improve cohesion.
😢Coherence & Cohesion - Weak transitions and unclear referencing
Manufacturing is also important, as it is the second largest sector in terms of production.
~0.2
The charts also include data for energy, agriculture, materials and info-com tech.
🖉 The phrase 'info-com tech' is informal and inconsistent with the rest of the essay; also, the list lacks a final comma before 'and' (Oxford comma) which slightly affects clarity.
😢Coherence & Cohesion - Inconsistent terminology and minor cohesion device omission
The charts also include data for energy, agriculture, materials, and information and communication technology.
~0.1
In 2040, services are predicted to be 40% which will slightly decrease in 2060 to 39%.
🖉 Missing comma before 'which' creates a run-on sentence and affects the clarity of the idea connection.
😢Coherence & Cohesion - Weak or missing transitions between clauses
In 2040, services are predicted to be 40%, which will slightly decrease in 2060 to 39%.
~0.1
Manufacturing is 31% in 2040 and will increase little in 2060.
🖉 The phrase 'will increase little' is awkward and unclear; it should be 'will increase slightly' for better clarity and cohesion.
😢Coherence & Cohesion - Awkward sequence of ideas and unclear expression
Manufacturing is 31% in 2040 and will increase slightly in 2060.
~0.1
Info-com tech is the third highest in 2040 with 15% but it will increase 2% in 2060.
🖉 Missing comma before 'but' weakens the connection between the two clauses; also, 'increase 2%' is unclear without 'by'.
😢Coherence & Cohesion - Weak transitions and unclear referencing
Information and communication technology is the third highest in 2040 with 15%, but it will increase by 2% in 2060.
~0.1
Energy is 7% in 2040 but decrease 2% in 2060.
🖉 Missing 'will' before 'decrease' and missing comma before 'but' cause grammatical and cohesion issues.
😢Coherence & Cohesion - Weak transitions and unclear referencing
Energy is 7% in 2040, but will decrease by 2% in 2060.
~0.1
Agriculture is 4% and will reduce 3% in 2060.
🖉 'Reduce' is incorrectly used; 'decrease by' is more appropriate for quantities. Also, missing comma before 'and' affects flow.
😢Coherence & Cohesion - Awkward expression and weak transitions
Agriculture is 4%, and will decrease by 3% in 2060.
~0.1
Materials is the smallest sector with 3% in 2040 but will slightly increase in 2060.
🖉 Missing comma before 'but' weakens the connection between clauses.
😢Coherence & Cohesion - Weak transitions
Materials is the smallest sector with 3% in 2040, but will slightly increase in 2060.
~0.1
Generally, services and manufacturing remain stable, while the others will change a little.
🖉 The phrase 'change a little' is vague and informal; more precise language would improve clarity and cohesion.
😢Coherence & Cohesion - Vague referencing and informal expression
Generally, services and manufacturing remain stable, while the other sectors will experience slight changes.
~0.2
However, some data seems unclear and the charts do not give information about total production or other details.
🖉 The sentence introduces a new idea abruptly without clear connection to previous content; 'However' is used but the logical link is weak. Also, 'some data seems unclear' is vague.
😢Coherence & Cohesion - Weak or missing transitions and vague referencing
However, it is important to note that some data appear unclear, as the charts do not provide information about total production or additional details.
+写作任务回应情况 ~3'
~0.2
Overall, services are expected to have highest production in both years.
🖉 Missing article 'the' before 'highest production' leads to inaccurate reporting of information.
😢Reporting information accurately
Overall, services are expected to have the highest production in both years.
~0.2
Manufacturing is also important and it is the second largest production.
🖉 Phrase 'second largest production' is awkward and imprecise; should specify 'sector' or 'share' for clarity.
😢Reporting information accurately
Manufacturing is also important and is the second largest sector.
~0.3
The charts also include data for energy, agriculture, materials and info-com tech.
🖉 Listing sectors without indicating their relative sizes or trends misses key feature comparison and detail.
😢Selecting and highlighting key features
The charts also include data for energy, agriculture, materials, and info-com tech, which have smaller but varying shares.
~0.2
In 2040, services are predicted to be 40% which will slightly decrease in 2060 to 39%.
🖉 Missing comma before 'which' causes a run-on sentence; also 'slightly decrease' is vague and lacks precise comparison.
😢Reporting information accurately and providing sufficient detail
In 2040, services are predicted to be 40%, which will slightly decrease to 39% in 2060.
~0.2
Manufacturing is 31% in 2040 and will increase little in 2060.
🖉 'Increase little' is ungrammatical and vague; lacks precise quantification of change.
😢Reporting information accurately and providing sufficient detail
Manufacturing is 31% in 2040 and will increase slightly to 32% in 2060.
~0.2
Info-com tech is the third highest in 2040 with 15% but it will increase 2% in 2060.
🖉 Missing preposition 'by' before '2%' and lack of clarity whether increase is absolute or relative; also 'third highest' should be 'third largest sector'.
😢Reporting information accurately and providing sufficient detail
Info-com tech is the third largest sector in 2040 with 15%, and it will increase by 2% in 2060.
~0.2
Energy is 7% in 2040 but decrease 2% in 2060.
🖉 Verb agreement error: 'decrease' should be 'decreases'; also missing preposition 'by' before '2%'.
😢Reporting information accurately
Energy is 7% in 2040 but decreases by 2% in 2060.
~0.2
Agriculture is 4% and will reduce 3% in 2060.
🖉 Missing preposition 'by' before '3%'; 'reduce' should be 'reduce by' or 'decrease by'.
😢Reporting information accurately
Agriculture is 4% in 2040 and will reduce by 3% in 2060.
~0.2
Materials is the smallest sector with 3% in 2040 but will slightly increase in 2060.
🖉 Lacks precise figure for increase; vague 'slightly increase' is insufficient detail.
😢Providing sufficient detail
Materials is the smallest sector with 3% in 2040 but will slightly increase to 4% in 2060.
~0.3
Generally, services and manufacturing remain stable, while the others will change a little.
🖉 Oversimplifies trends; some sectors decrease notably (e.g., agriculture reduces by 3%), so 'remain stable' is inaccurate for manufacturing which increases slightly, and 'change a little' is vague.
😢Comparing and contrasting information adequately
Generally, services remain relatively stable, manufacturing shows a slight increase, while other sectors experience small but notable changes.
~0.3
However, some data seems unclear and the charts do not give information about total production or other details.
🖉 This statement is irrelevant and speculative; task requires reporting given data, not commenting on missing information.
😢Appropriate format and relevance
Omit this sentence to maintain focus on describing the data presented.
~0.2
The given pie charts show some data about projected global production by sector in 2040 and 2060.
🖉 The phrase 'some data' is vague and underdeveloped; does not clearly introduce key features or scope of the charts.
😢Selecting and highlighting key features
The given pie charts show the projected global production by sector in 2040 and 2060.
~0.2
The charts also include data for energy, agriculture, materials and info-com tech.
🖉 Use of 'info-com tech' is informal and inconsistent; should use full term 'information and communication technology' or standard abbreviation.
😢Reporting information accurately
The charts also include data for energy, agriculture, materials, and information and communication technology.
~0.1
Info-com tech is the third highest in 2040 with 15% but it will increase 2% in 2060.
🖉 Inconsistent naming of sector; 'Info-com tech' should be consistent and formal throughout.
😢Reporting information accurately
Information and communication technology is the third largest sector in 2040 with 15%, and it will increase by 2% in 2060.
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